Hey Witchy friends, quick heads up!
I am running a workshop this very afternoon (Saturday, November 11, at 3:00 p.m. EST), and until 30 minutes before it starts, all tickets are half price!
Wow, you guys have been AWESOME, and I want to thank you for helping me out here. Between my workshops, Patreon, YouTube, and a BIG, helpful boost in my HubPages article activity (thanks to YOU sharing my links), I have made a nice little dent in my goal in the first month to start with!
And we’re picking up momentum! I’m feeling very hopeful!
From the bottom of my heart and on behalf of my FAMILY I want to thank you so much!
The Ex-Files: Update
My ex has been putting us all through a lot in the last year, and apparently he doesn’t plan on stopping. Here’s a script of the most drama, in a nutshell.
Ex: (spends thousands of dollars, loses work, takes money from me, his son, stiffs me on child support, borrows thousands that none of us see, leaves me with all our bills, takes two long trips to Ireland in 3 month period to be with girl he met on Internet (who ends up dumping him after trip) loses his apartment, becomes a big sloppy mess on the verge of homelessness).
Ex: Please help me, I am penniless, I am scared to be alone, my job is hanging by a thread, and I’m about to be homeless! IDK what I’m gonna do! OMG OMG OMG
Me: trying to help him find someplace to go. When that fails, consider letting him stay here temporarily.
Son: Not a good idea to take him back in. He made his own bed.
Me: I can’t let your father be homeless, esp. since he just got out of the mental hospital after a suicide attempt.
Me: (To Ex): I’ll let you stay here for now (in a separate room) if you promise 1) no more time off from work or trips to see women in distant lands for now 2) start paying child support 3) start working on paying me back the $3,000+ you owe me 4) don’t mess up my house.
Ex: OoooOOOhh, TY TY TY! You are right, I’ve been an asshole, I need to get on my feet and pay you back for my kids’ sake! I agree to everything!
(10 days later)
Messes everywhere– piles of his junk and clothes in boy’s room; disgusting hairs and cigg butts in the sink; piles of cigg butts and fast food containers on the porch; leaving crumbs and dishes and food out everywhere; things are starting to smell.
Ex: I promise I’ll clean up my messes on Sunday.
Ex: (next week) I know I didn’t get to it last Sunday but I will when I’m off this Sunday this Sunday, I swear!
Me: Can you not make plans this Sunday till you get the mess taken care of? It’s been 2 weeks now.
Doesn’t come home Sunday morning. Doesn’t come home in the afternoon. I call him to ask where he is.
Ex: I’ll be home tonight to do it!
Ex: (Sunday night) I’ll be home later tonight to do it!
Ex: (Later Sunday night) I’ll be home tomorrow to do it!
Ex: (Monday night, barely cleaned anything) I don’t know what you’re mad about, I told you I intend to clean the mess!
Oh by the way, I’m going to give you less money than I promised, and can’t get a second job right now. I have a new girlfriend I met on the internet a couple weeks ago and she’s my new soul mate. I have to take off time for trips to see her once per month, then I’m gonna need money to move to be with her in a few months.
Me: I need to move soon, and you need to move out. Can’t you just get a temp job and pay me back some, and get yourself on your feet for a couple of months before going to take vacations an trips again?
Ex: No, I wanna do what I wanna do now. But I INTEND to pay you back, and as we all know, intentions are a great substitute for actions, even if you never get around to following up on them.
Son: Dad, you owe us a lot of money, and if you don’t pay us back we could get stuck here. We helped you, so dad, can you please just keep your promise for now? It’s only for a couple of months, can’t you prove for once that your kids come first?
Ex: Sorry son, my new girlfriend is my priority right now (yes, he literally said THOSE WORDS to his son). And instant gratification for myself. But haven’t you heard? I have INTENTIONS of paying you guys back…. someday… if I can.
Son: Dad, if you do this, I will lose all respect for you, you will destroy our relationship and I may never speak to you again. Are you willing to take that risk?
Ex: Yes, I am totally willing to take that risk for this new girl. (Again, yes, said that to his 19-year-old son’s face).
Son: (to me) He needs to leave… NOW.
Me: (to ex) you need to leave. Now.
Ex: Why? I’m not ready to go yet! How can you inconvenience me like this/
Me: You completely reneged on our bargain. You haven’t even cleaned up your mess.
Ex: BUT I HAVE INTENTIONS! Don’t you understand INTENTIONS??!!
Ex: WHY CAN’T YOU LET ME KEEP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU AND LET ME KEEP BREAKING MY PROMISES? You’re so mean!
So he leaves- WITHOUT cleaning that mess, I might add.
This was over a month ago. Says he’s got a ‘Great New Job’ — still haven’t seen a dime of child support. And claims he doesn’t owe me any money (despite the fact that I’ve got checks and bills and records that he owes me over $4,000 now).
But he is apparently always ‘thinking of his kids’… Isn’t that sweet?
He tells me ‘not to rely on him to pay for my move’– I said I’m not relying on him to pay for anything for me, I’m relying on him to pay his obligations, like debts and child support.
I filed the paperwork for child support enforcement, but (believe it or not), the bitch won’t tell me where he lives now, lol. So they have to do a search for him. Hope they charge him for that and garnish his wages.
But here is the kicker: he’s mad at me… he’s accusing me of ‘Parental Alienation’
He’s sending me pamphlets and everything, lol. Which I know his girlfriend or some new pal had to have gotten for him, because pamphlets are not his style. Nor are terms like ‘Parental Alienation’.
Why am I accused of ‘Parental Alienation’? Because his oldest son won’t talk to him. Ex thinks it’s my fault because I wasn’t able to help him hide the fact that he’s acted like a complete asshole for more than a year, and he’s now DENYING that he told my son he’s willing to risk his relationship for this new girl, or that he said she was his priority.
Older son sees this as adding insult to injury and is done with him.
And he’s now decided he’s going to call his youngest son every weekend… a new thing, considering in the past year he went weeks without calling or looking for his 16-year-old child.
But twice, the 16-year-old was out or with other kids, and didn’t call him back fast enough. And OMG, Ex went BALLISTIC ON ME! Texting me about how I have no right to keep his son from him, and I’m ruining his relationship with his son.
Yes, one Sunday my son failed to return a call but called him the next night… and the following Sunday he called like 4 hours AFTER my ex texted me to ask that the boy call him.
That is his case for ‘Parental Alienation’– his teen made him wait 4 to 24 hours on 2 occasions before he called him back.
So this apparently means I am embroiled in a plot to badmouth the Ex as a parent and keep his son away from him. Despite the fact that I barely mention him, and I’m the one that pesters his son to call him back.
I guess when you’ve done a lot of crappy things to people and you want to pretend you didn’t, it’s normal to try and villainize someone else and blame them for everything.
This guy doesn’t want to admit to his mistakes, he ran off to a new life scott free with no responsibilities, making no amends and with no accountability (so far). I’m sure he wants everyone in his new life to think he was a victim, and I was a shrew. He always favored his older son and our youngest never felt close to his dad, and I begged my Ex for YEARS when we were married to be more attentive to our youngest son.
Most recently blamed the fact that he never really bonded with his youngest son on me, because I “made him” work.
Here’s the kicker, though. My youngest even has a phone now! But begged me not to tell his dad or give my Ex the number! He says he doesn’t want to be ‘bothered’! The ONLY reason he calls his dad back at all is I nudge him to do it.
Amusing fact: the phone calls last around 5 – 8 minutes. And it’s actually the most conversation he’s had with this kid in years.
Anyway… I told The Ex he was causing me too much emotional distress with his harassing texts and not to contact me anymore with his accusations or he can fight for visitations in court… considering he’s not paying child support all year, barely started calling his son at all until 4 weeks ago, plus all the other stuff he did this year, the things he said to his other son, I want to see him explain to the judge how he is the victim, and I am guilty of ‘Parental Alienation’ because his teen didn’t call him back instantly whenever he bellowed.
I have SO MANY TEXT MESSAGES full of his ‘intentions’, his agreements that he’s been acting like a jerk and needs to pay me back, full of my begging him to call his son once in a while, of him asking me for money, asking me to take care of bills, to help him with his overdrafts, to help him with his rent, food, transportation, etc.
I cannot WAIT until he sits down with a judge and starts trying to explain his ‘intentions’ and that he’s the victim of ‘Parental Alienation’
I also told him he doesn’t have to rely on my phone to contact his younger son, to try Skype, email, Facebook, letters, carrier pigeon, send him a pre-paid phone, etc. Like, duh. So hopefully I won’t have to hear much from him anymore.
Boy I cannot WAIT for 2 things: 1) to get this whole divorce over with and 2) for my youngest to turn 18 so I never, ever, ever have to deal with this man again. I cannot believe how things turned out. What a slimeball.
But in the meantime, THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME SUPPORT MY WORK! When you support my work, I can PRODUCE MORE, and I can SUPPORT MY FAMILY! Looking forward to a fresh start with my boys in a new place so we can forget all this ugliness.
Please consider sponsoring me on Patreon, as there are some REALLY GREAT reward tiers (go check them out!).
And if you can’t, WORD OF MOUTH is EVERYTHING– please share links for my articles, workshops, YouTube vids, etc. It is SO HELPFUL and EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS!